Chris in Korea..

hey peeps... anyone knows where is ms. christine chai? the last i've heard of her was approximately 3 months ago..and her last pic in friendster is as attached :

she's still in korea? trying to get hold of her for dinner.. lets have a good dinner this thursday night? or sunday night? :D hahahha i cant make it on friday and saturday night...next weekend me and ping wont be around... so how huimin n mel? anything sms me k... sorry sometimes i am not in front of screen when u tag me in msn.. kay la.. see you ppeeeps soon.. else lets meet for tea timeeeee!!! i lovvvvveeee TeAAAAaaaa!!! hahahahahhahah...LoVe Ya All...!

its a friday night..i am stuck in office.tht bitch!

damn it. its a friday night and i am here sitting in office working. btw, it's almost 8pm now. My mood wouldnt be this bad if that f*king fat bitch hasnt been such a pain in the ass. i m already reading a million and one books on how to control my emotions, to be happy, to overcome fear ..etc and I am also in the midst of searching for new jobs. I am doing everything i can to save myself, to ensure that my life will not be shorten anymore, and for health reasons, no more breakouts, no more frustration, no more nose bleeding. etc! arggH.. she;s been sucking up licking the bosses shoes, sending me hell emails, when a tiny mistake is made, she CC the entire boss population. She gave me the glares and rolled her ugly fat eye balls when she talks to me. and she's assigning a thousand tasks a day to me. anymore and i'll explode. I have urge to throw shoes and everything on my desk at her face, once and for all Shout to her Fat Ugly Face what a bitch she's been and how she can benefit if she could spend more effort going on diet than to make my life a hell of a living. Such a bitch. Damn her... arrgh.. i need to go for tai chi classes tooo now... must ask jasmine if the classes are affective...

being happy...

I just bought this book titled 'Being Happy' by Andrew Matthews.

On paragraph says : Being happy can be hard work sometimes. It is like maintaining a nice home, you've got to hang on to you treasures and throw out your garbage. I guess its telling us that we should always look forward, throw out the bad past and look forward to built a good start, and we decide to be happy. Guess there's no point thinking of yesterday or tomorrow. The moment is now, and how we can make the best out of the current moment.

It also said that scientific experiments have demonstrated incredible ways to kill guinea pigs. Emotional upsets generate powerful and lethal toxins. Blood samples taken from person experiencing intense fear or anger when injected into guines pigs have killed them in less than 2 minutes. :)

No wonder i had breakouts la!

Two things that made me smile today:

1.
Notice the Sri Aman colours? :P

2. opened my Bible and found this. Hopefully it offers all you stressed peeps some comfort and hope :)

Praise for God's Deliverance

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;

³The God of my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation,

My stronghold and my refuge;

My Saviour, You save me from violence.

⁴I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;

So shall I be saved from my enemies.

²⁹"For You are my lamp, O Lord;

The Lord shall enlighten my darkness.

³⁰For by You I can run against a troop;

By my God I can leap over a wall.

³¹As for God, His way is perfect;

The word of the Lord is proven;

He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

³²"For who is God, except the Lord?

And who is a rock, except our God?

³³God is my strength and power,

And He makes my way perfect.

³⁴He makes my feet like the feet of deer,

And sets me on my high places.

~ 2 Sam 22:2-4, 29-34 ~

God bless dears...

Re: Depression

Well.. its my first post here.. Never had the chance to sit down and write something or even read it! Been working almost everyday.. 10 hour job.. just standing the bloody whole day and being pissed at customers cos all they do is just yell at u.. I work in a dodgy suburb where all the druggies live. So they come in everyday asking for their drugs. And I have to serve them... If im not lucky, they'll spit at u.. so that's my life for the whole year.. I have a security guard that walks me to the train station everyday now after work cos lately a lot of druggies have been following me as they know i catch the train. Life's a bitch.. old ppl can be naggy all the time.. pensioners think they are kings and queens.. and at the end of the day.. u have to smile and say.. Hi! How can i help you?! And try and explain to a person who doesnt speak english what a generic brand of medicine means.. and it takes half an hour to do it and then realize she's been nodding at nothing..

Re: Depression.. well bin wei, if you want to know about depression, u can ask me. I have been diagnosed with it together with anxiety.. and still am. I am on drugs for it and have been on it for a while. I've never mentioned it because its not something u want to go around spreading the news. I'm saying this here cos i think you guys are truly my best friends. I have no friends here except for probably my housemate (Denise) for those from sri petaling would know.. She's the only reason i'm probably still sane. I have been hallucinating a lot before i was on drugs and my weight fluctuates from 40 kg to 55 in about a mth.. one day i'll be binge eating.. and another week i wont eat dinner.. The only reason i'm on anti-depressants is because it came to a point where i hear ppl talking to me (btw.. there isn't anyone around) and its not something that happens in ur mind.. its literally someone talking to you.. And the things they ask me to do aren't very nice.. At the moment i'm still sane.. i know what's right.. and what's not.. but i didnt want to wait till it controls me.. and next thing u know u find me dead on the ground floor.. thank god i live on the 4th floor!

But anyway.. bin... ur not depressed.. ur mostly stressed out and maybe just anxious... just relax and u'll be fine.. talk to us when u need to

Take care peeps!

sook

Introducing.. iCare

Hey peeps,

For those who wonders wht binwei does in accenture, highlighted below are the links that tells you the outcome of my 24X7 OT. It's tm call centre..thats the system we built since 2years+ ago..causing me hell..no more work life balance. So each time you call TM to complaint, you be kind to them. Cause if they get complaints, they will raise the complaints to us, and we have to fix, and I'll complaint and curse back here..

English version :
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/5/23/north/17806032&sec=north

Chinese version :
http://www.chinapress.com.my/content.asp?dt=2007-05-23&sec=local&art=0523lg08.txt

malay version :
http://www.bharian.com.my/m/BHarian/Wednesday/Ekonomi/20070523005802/Article/

Depression Anyone?

has anyone never been in depression before? I think i am sick. I am constantly depressed. No idea if it's pms or permanent mental problem. I've always had morbid pictures flying in my head whenever i stare outside the window, the ceiling or whenever I am alone. Bad memories or nasty imaginations will flash pass.. the picture of my dog dying, flashing moments of me falling down, picture of moments before car crash, the imagination of me being robbed, imagination of me dying, imaginations of ppl betraying me, imaginations of future,nothing positive...the imaginations and flashbacks doesnt stop. Sometimes, out of nowhere, i can just feel tears at the corner of my eyes. Sometimes I'll just lie in bed and cry. I dont understand why am i always so unhappy? ... it's a horrible feeling and i dont know what causes this. at the same time, myself confidence are at its lowest. I feel ugly and fat, and everybody despise me. Sometimes, i dont even know why do i exist in this world. the feeling hurts. anyone knows why? and could anyone tell me how to get rid of this nasty feeling?

no resolutions

U know what..i just realized that i have not set any resolutions for myself this year..imagine that..!
bin and ah lye..u both should give urself a pat on the back for at least having some resolutions..=)
now im thinking melody..ur such a lousy one..no resolutions at all!
well...maybe i can relate to one..going to the gym...i did manage to go to the gym at least 2 to 3 times a week for the past 6 months...but i have put on weight ironically...i always try to console myself..that the extra weight is because of muscle toning..muscle building...cheh wah..but then..still so flabby also..so maybe thats one..hahhah..but not going this two months..cause im heading back to malaysia!for a month!!!so i wanna see all of u!wohoo!whoeever is back home!

Ive just finished my exams over here..waiting for my results which will be out on the 21st of june!hope it went well...and yes..finally..im going to be graduating!4 long years....ive reach to the point where i can't be bothered to do anymore studying...im saturated!ahhahah..

summer..here has been pretty good...nice for picnics and just wasting time doing nothing..with no worries whatsoever..

my parents were over here for the past week to attend my brother's graduation..which was very eventful because..we decided to rent a car and drive down to milton keynes where my brother's university was..Cranfield university..and guess what it was soooo difficult to get out of london and once we were outside london..the motorway leading to his university had road works..the ceremony was supposed to start at 3.15pm...and we reached exactly at 3.15pm!we were all so worried that my brother was going to miss his graduation okies!imagine the anxiety levels going through all of us at that moment.

SO thats bout it really..ill be home soon!right now at this moment..im settling my work permit stuff and my visa things..for me to work here!its such a hassle!im getting different information from everywhere!

and here are my resolutions!

hah bin, you're sooooo ambitious! but must applaud you about the gym thing, i think the last time i tried "toning" my body i lasted..... 2 weeks (5 gym visits in total). after that i just gave up on exercising completely. i've decided to make my resolutions non-new year ones, so they will last me a whole lifetime, which means if i haven't completed one by the end of the year it doesn't mean no hope liao. makes it easier that way to "achieve" :P

#1: to learn (read and write) 2 - 3 other languages (french, MANDARIN chinese my mother tongue (!!!), and maybe spanish/sign language)
#2: to do volunteer work
#3: to read more non-medic-y things ie fiction
#4: to be a competent doctor (that is all i ask) and build up my CV
#5: to have my dog be ring bearer at my wedding
#6: to cook a 3 course meal for my parents
#7: to be more up to date on current affairs, world issues, history, art, literature, politics, economics and general knowledge (i hate how medicine has made me so stupid)
#8: to travel the world
#9: to have my own self bought, self decorated house and my own car
#10: to stop moaning about my fatness and just celebrate what i have (ie buy more clothes :D)
#11: to be a good friend
#12: to learn how to be more patient, more forgiving and less judgmental
#13: to learn how to play 2 other musical instruments (the cello and drums/saxophone)
#14: to take better care of my skin and my health
#15: to count my blessings and be happy

so of all the current 15 resolutions above (will add some more as i go along), i've made a half hearted attempt for #1 (i know how to pronounce french words and that's as far as i've gotten), i've managed to do #2, trying to do #3 and #4 and hurrying nick regarding #5 (haha!). planning to do #6 when i go back this summer, dunno how to start #7 (don't feel like digging up my pmr and spm sejarah books), really want to do #8 properly but got no money so doing everything on a budget and #9 is still reaaaaaaaaallllllllyyy far away. some days i still moan but learning how to do #10, struggling with #11 and #12 because i'm too lazy to change bad habits, have tried the cello for #13 and have given up for now because it's too hard and i have no money. i've made some progress for #14 but i still need to work on it, and as for #15, i'm reminding myself to do that every day. as long as i've made a little progress on at least 2 resolutions a year then i'm happy enough.

Life at 23...?

time flies isn't it? it's already half a year into 2007, and I still feel like it was only weeks ago when I was scribling and planning my new year resolutions.

My Resolutions? Let me share 4 of it... :D

Number 1 : To Get a promotion in September, and to buy myself a car.
Outcome? I gave in my best effort, work almost 24-7 for past 1 and half year, work till couldnt differentiate day and night,work till i visited the doctor so often that i suggested that she should implement a medical points collection system so that i can claim rewards next time... truth is, i felt silly, because the higher my expectation was, when truth spilled that I wasnt able to achieve it, i felt trashed and burned. I overworked myself and exhausted myself...resulted in nothing. I've learned that, in reality things aint that simple. it's not like in school anymore, if you study, memorize the entire book, go for exams, you'll at least be guranteed an A. But in the rat race? things aint as simple, you've got to stand out like miss universe in front of your bosses.. damn competitive!Therefore.. my new resolution for 2008 : 1-Full Time Encourage KY to work HaRD so he can become rich man and i can become Rich Man's wife :D, B-lottery lar! sinlee always say wan.

Number 2 : To get a Toned body, means lots of exercising.
Effort?I joined the gym and went 2-3 times a week for the first 2 months. After that? I sponsored the gym for next 4months without stepping foot in it. sigh.. i m such a pig. ok lar.. this one i havent given up yet.. i still have 6 months to get toned.

Number 3 : To Drive.
I m such a loser. Since the day i crashed into the car in front of me, damaged the car's engine..after 1 and half years, i am still in shocked. and still shivers each time the driver gets too near to the car in front. Already no courage and no confidence for things, this happened, feels like i'll never surface again. such a coward huh? I realised i am always scare of things.Not the type who recovers quickly.. My dog died almost 2 years ago, believe me, I still cry! and I still shrugged whenever i recall the painful days before he died. Is this normal? Slow to start = slow to recover as well? sigh

Number 4 : I Want To be Able to Sing...
Childhood fright. Remember during Form 1's incidents whenever I opened my and sang, it turned from broad burning hot sunny day to dark clouds, heavy rain and thunderstormed at tapak perhimpunan? I tried again 3 days in row and same thing happened? Since then each time when the weather is hot, you all will coax me to sing. oh well.. since that day.. i havent really dare to open my mouth to sing.. i guess you ppl are to be blamed for that too k! haha felt jinx.

My achievement at 23? i've never been out of my house. I've been living under the same roof since the day i was born. I have no idea what's being independant. I know I wont survive if you throw me out in the ocean. I am still being labeled as Slow wherever i go,although nobody knew my past.. nobody knew i was a steamed bun. but some colleagues are starting to hint that ..'ah bin,you very slow la?' aiyak. cant run away from it. I am still being bullied at work! just like how u guys always throw things in sky and ask me to wwatch.. and how you ppl always fool me. haih.. still the same now k!! sheesh.. yeah.. i still sux at any ball games. basketball, football, netball, pingpong, tennis, any game that is related to any forms of balls la. you think it has anything to do with my blurness? haha i dont know. I certainly wish that i can do better. I always either hit the one beside me or myself.. so each time there;s a ball game, someone gets injured. Does khoobinwei has anything to be proud of? I cant think of any *sOb*sOb*..

ok lar. phone call again.. got to go work now..SigH..it's 12am sharp now! and ppl in office still say that i am very free. Well, I just dont highlight to ppl thats all. Only stupid ppl will leave office early,go home and work from home..btw,thats me=visibility low..

Photos!

Below are some images to bring your memories to recall days when Sri Amanians get together ;)
5 Science Cekap!

'Hope is the last thing that we lose' ..that was our School leaver's page caption!.. i browsed through and saw captions made by Ms Angeline Chong..

Melody : Nudge her once, nudge her a few more times..and give up completely.

Bin Wei : Prodigy Child..just like Einstein, slow to start.

Christine : Short Circuit always happens.

First year away from home! - 2002

Days when Cheryl has yet to turned vain and was still with thick spectacles..

Jazz Fest - 2006

The day we were introduced to Nick for the very first time! ah lye, you succeeded in teaching him to speak slower yet? already slow to start, and he had to talk in speed of lightning.. was so challenging for me k!


Hui Min Back Home! - 2006

Bubble tea we had, and the photos taken with the sole intention of making the rest of you people in Uk,US and Aussie envy and feel homesick.. to feel jealous that we have bubble tea and you DoN't gEt! hahahahahah

That's all i have to rekindle now...will try to dig out more antique photos and post it when i have more time! ;) I would love to know how's everyone doing... hope you people could post more pics, stories of your day to day happenings, good and bad of everything.. doubts and credibility of life you would like to question... etc! anything.. this will be a place where we pick of pieces of one another's life.. fill up the puzzle.. and place to bring us all together.. i hope :)

Hi peeps!!!

hahaha bin,
your blog sounds hilarious! But you have to be understanding! Maybe she is super fat, therefore cannot move soo much and the only thing that she knows what to do is eat, and talk!
hehehe

Anyways, be patient k!
Or else,
just get married to a super rich ass dude and be a " siew lai lai"
hahahahahahaha

till then!
muaks everyone!

(oh yah this blog is damn cool! Just ugly. hahahaha
and can we make it cooler by changing the layout or adding some pictures at the back etc etc)
thanks bin!

hey babes,

it sounds damn stressful at the moment.... and if i were there with you i'd sit at the kopitiam with you n listen to you bitch bitch til the cows come home! but i can't do that physically yet (i'm coming back 31st july!) so just wanted to post something to put things into perspective.
i get really sick of medicine as well..... i know it's different since i'm not working yet but i always think i may want to have a drastic career change or something. at the moment i'm working on an audit project and it does give me a lot of perspective when i'm under stress.

the audit involves quite severely disabled children, quite a few of them have epilepsy and have uncontrollable seizures. they're developmentally delayed and can't walk or talk like children of their age. it's heartbreaking to see their parents taking care of them.... even though they're great parents, i would never envy their position. imagine carrying a baby for 9 months only to find out your child is so disabled that all you can do is take each day as it comes? they know that if they try to plan their baby's future.... there won't ever be *much* of a future. their child won't ever be normal, won't grow up, sit for exams, go to university, find a job, marry and have their own children.

every time i'm having a hard day, i tell myself i'm lucky to be stressed.... to have a life and a future i can actually *feel* stressed about. i have the privilege of sitting around and bitching to nick, or my friends. i can use the phone and call my mom to talk to her. if i need something to cheer me up, i can buy a book, go for a walk, go shopping or enjoy a movie.... simple things that other people can't even do and will never get the chance to experience. these children get admitted so frequently that all the nurses and doctors know them by name... they get 10 seizures in a row without stopping, and i feel bad when i curse the fact that i have to wake up in the morning to drag myself to hospital. there will always be hard times ahead, and believe me when i say that the hardest times you can face will have nothing to do with your job.

so sweetheart, take a deep breath and be a trooper! play your bitch boss's game. there are better ways to get ahead than sucking up..... and remember that your job is not your life (even though you're spending most of your life at your desk at the moment). we love you and we'll always be here to hear you moan and whinge!

Life's a Bitch, caused by a BitCh!

It's 12.40am in the morning and I am still working. My boss is 24 year old octopus,wantan whatever you call them..u know what i mean? let me give you more detailed description of this evil lady here.. to give you a better idea what type of monster i am working with.

1- she's halal
2-she's overweight.
3-she's filty rich
4-she graduated in Uk
5-her father's some police big shot
6-she's earning 5k+ jst with 2 yrs of experience and lots of sucking up

can you imagine how arrogant this person is? anyway she treats me like a piece of shit, taking credits for all the work i've done, thrashing all the problems pointing her fat ugly fingers at me blaming me for every shit that happens, talks and gossips with all big bosses and flood my mailbox with rude mindless unprofessional email statements, and she craved for attention from all corners. Sometimes i get so pissed and angry that all i think of for the rest of the day is how to arrange the wires on floor around her cubicle to make her trip and fall face front. Sometimes I just pity her and think to myself why she has to be this way... to earn more money, to accompany her for the rest of her life. she needed it way much more than me...

Once she Yelled and shouted at me over a tiny problem and stormed off to complain to the manager. what a b****h. and another time, used her fat arms wiped off everything from my table and stared at me in the face and demanded my help. There are just too many incidents to name.. it'll never end. Worst part? I couldnt take it anymore, i told my manager that if this continues, it's gonna affect my performance. His reply, 'you've got to be understanding, she's stress'. he must be blind. I work for 7 days a week. 14 hours average daily. he ddint see my stress. Just my luck isnt it? to work under these circumstances?

I am so tired. just feeling like all my hardwork throughout the past 2 years has gone down the drain, thrashed by these 2 ppl. just looking for a way out. Times like this, all i wish for is, a bunch of friends sitting with me sipping coffee.. talking nonsense, cursing the bitch to death. I m so darn freaking tired...what a way to start the blogg... hahaha