feeling ungrateful..

Hello girls…

Been quite some time since I last blog here…

Been feeling quite down recently… not quite sure if it’s due to hormone changes, pms or weather change… jst aint feeling good or happy…

Anyway I’ve been suffering from really horrible complexion much worst than before recently.. I see lots of scars and marks and acnes whenever I look into the mirror. It’s seriously killing my confidence and self esteem. Those holes in my face will be there forever!

*btw the photo in 2007, It’s with concealer and foundation. Imagine if I didn’t have any on! It’s scary!

About my job? It’s been more than 2 yrs since I’ve joined Accenture now. My salary has barely increased since I joined the firm. It’s barely enough for me to pay household, car installment and petrol. With that salary I can’t even afford to go for facials or to buy any facial products to save my face! Shopping for cosmetics and clothes are way out of the story.. there are so many things which I’ve been saving to buy… 1) a good pair of heels that doesn’t give me blisters(my current worn out pair of heels gives me bloody blisters everyday), 2) a diff color slack (I only have 2 pair of black slacks which I take turn to wear to work) 3) Working tops (more variety!) 4) go for facials 5) buy products to cure my face…

Hsiulye, u studying dermatologist? Help me? I’ve been researching the net, it could be because of bad liver, high level of toxins etc.. so to the pharma girls, what can I eat to strengthen my liver? y

It really makes me feel so down looking at those dressy flawless stylish high heels all branded girls at work. How can I not compare? How come people can afford such luxuries when I need to save for months by eating cheap lunch just to get something I need?

Work life balance? It’s average 8.30am to 9.00pm here. it’s so tiring, working for nothing. I don’t see any objectives anymore!

Gratitude?

yes I am grateful for the things I have. Jst recently, reminding myself doesn’t work anymore.let me try listing it all down….

# 1 : Family

My parents and sisters and ky and my dog love me. They are always there for me. I have dinner with them every night.

# 2 : Friends

You guys are always here for me. So touched that all of you are here to listen out to me.

Especially to Ping who’s been such a darling checking on how I am every single morning, the moment I logged on to msn.

Angie, who insisted me to list 5 things which I am grateful for.
Melo ong for being worried and for blogging to cheer me up.

Sin lee for blogging and msging me.

All of you, I know all I need to do is to pick up the phone and call any of you and you will be there.
thanks dears

# 3 : I am not spastic, retarded or disable

I thank god I can walk, talk, listen, breath, run and jump. I m not missing a breast, not missing any leg or hand, and I have a pair of eyes although very small, nose, ears and mouth. And I thankgod I am not one of those spastics who are so damn irritating at work.

# 4 : I am local. I am from KL and I work in KL..

I am happy that I am not living alone away from my parents. I am happy that breakfast and dinners are prepared for me everyday. I am happy that I get to see them everyday.

# 5 : that I earn my own $

I am happy that I know how difficult it is to earn $, it’s all flesh and blood. I watch my bank account grow from RM 0.00. I afforded my very 1st vacation/holiday to hongkong/macau. I bought my 1st Car on my own.

Ok lar angie, you are right. it did make me feel wayyyyyy better after I completed my last sentence. Thanks all…