it's been a while since anyone wrote here (with the lovely exception of chris chai, good job)
i'm sitting here eating frozen yogurt (literally: live culture yogurt chucked into the freezer kind) and drying my hair. i just realized that i might have hemmoroids (or what my dad calls piles) cos when i go tandas it hurts so much. it's an almost tearing sensation. well, sensation's too positive an adjective. it's more strenous for me to go tandas than to exercise.
so my diet now consists of a lot of fiber from
1. mini wheats (lye likes weetabix which taste like mud/horse)
2. yogurt
3. pride and prejudice
4. whole grain bread
5. grain soups
my co-worker says that mini wheats are like brooms for your colon.

ok excerpts of my dad:
me: DADDY! Happy Merry Christmas!
dad: yes Merry Christmas! who is this?
dad: hello girl, GIRL (talking INTO the mic) can you hear me?
me: yes daddy i can hear...
dad: HELLO girl! can you hear papa anot?
me: ..you, yes yes i can hear. turn on your speaker
dad: GIRL, PAPA CANNOT HEAR YOU, CAN YOU HEAR ME
me: YES DADDY I CAN HEAR Y..
dad: eh girl, please stop screaming.
(and, now that we have NO maid at home)
dad: eh girl, i think i'm worse off than an indon maid
me: why dad?
dad: cos at least those indons get paid. i clean the house and then get scolding when i don't boil the water
dad: girl, your mom and i have been trying to call you last night. why did you switch off your phone?
me: i didn't...
dad: and there was this guy who kept answering your phone. where were you? was that (whoever)?
me: no, no. who did you call? i was home and my phone was turned on...
dad: yeah. your mom and i don't like this behavior. who is this that is answering your phone? you better behave yourself..
me: \really what are you talking about? what number did you call
dad: huh.. your mom and i are very upset. i dialed the number i always dial. the 252 number.
me: dad, my number starts with a 320
dad: (still sounding angry)..... then who was that??
dad: the other day ivan (my brother in-law) came to help carry the flower pots out to the roadside..
me: wow don't you feel good, the chongs finally have a son!
dad: .. then i just stood there and looked at the road and pretended to feel very hot so that he will carry all the pots into the house.
me: so he carried the pots out or into the house?
dad: both. i was confused-so he had to carry the pots out then back in.
me: DADDY! (name) has this picture where there's this girl who's head is nested into his neck! YUCKS DADDY! why would he do something like that to me?? he doesn't care about me anymore!
dad: (chuckles) aiyah girl, let it be la... where is it?
me: neh... see! what kind of picture is he taking?? hah, Godly man of God taking this kind of picture, what does it mean?? he doesn't like me already la meaning huh? i leave one month then he dunno take what kind of picture with what girl.. oh wait. oh dad eyeerr that's his cousin sister!
dad: you go and send him an email with an article attachment on the few ways of conceiving down syndrome children. Say, i want you to read this.