hi girls

i'm sorry i have been MIA for so long.
my life has been non-stop working/studying for about 2 months now.
i'm officially out of my house officer year, and i'm now called a "senior house officer" or a fy2. very scary, because although i have 1 year's experience behind me, the responsibility is also greater and i still feel like a junior inside.
bin, that was a really good video. i guess all of us, at some point, no matter what we're doing, will feel low and crappy. i know i do.
i really hate my job at times, because it just seems like i went into it naively thinking i was going to magically make everyone better. but there's more paperwork than patient care, i don't even like or sympathise with some of my patients, and sometimes the demands and pressures put upon me just make me feel like giving up. i thought patients would be grateful and appreciative, but sick patients and patients in pain are not necessarily grateful, doctors are getting more and more involved in litigation issues, and then there are the repeat offenders who come in all the time because of self inflicted problems, ie alcoholics, drug abusers, etc etc. sometimes i wish for an ideal world where everyone would remember to take their medication, do as they're told but it doesn't happen that way. i already feel so tired of this job and i've not even gone all the way up the ladder yet. i've seriously considered quitting as well.
so besides that, i've just sat for my mrcp exam (it's a specialist exam for those wanting to specialise in medicine) yesterday which is a hard paper with a 70% fail rate. i'm back on surgery on call today from 8am until 9pm, and tomorrow. on friday i start nights from 8pm until 9am and i finish on sunday. so there's my weekend gone. when i finish on monday 9am, i get the rest of the day off and then i'm back doing 8-5pm the rest of the week. my bank account has gone into overdraft a few times because i don't have the time to go to the bank any more, i have to do everything online. but hey still, that's life isn't it.
thanks for all your birthday wishes and happy belated to the july, august and september babies!!! i will update another day when i have the time but but but i just wanted to tell you all that i've booked my plane ticket home for oct 10 and i'm arriving oct 11! will be in msia for roughly 2 weeks. so i will see all of you then and i can't waitttt because i miss all of you so so much. heading off to sleep now for another 13 hour shift tomorrow ....... wish me luck!

love hsiu lye