at a cross road..

sigh.. i cant sleep.. been tossing around in bed for an hour... although i am dead tired. it's monday night... the most tiring day of the week.

Anyway, i m undecided. I have been given a choice to 1) stay in my current department 2) transfer over to another department.

Option 1 : What is keeping me here... or shooing me away

1) during my job interview, nobody including the MD believes in me, nobody believes that this young and inexperience girl can do well in a customer (c-level) facing job... but yet my current manager fought to bring me into the team.

2) unfortunately my manager is an extremely technical guy who is pretty bad in managing people. he does not provide guidance, or coaching. he believes in throwing me out at the sea, bringing me back when i am seen drowning. yet, when i drown he doesnt tell me why i drown.

3) my manager speaks very well of me to others, resulting in me being awarded as appreciated staff, and been identified as key talent in the company. yet i m empty inside. and ppl do talk behind me...

4) i am dealing with many nasty sales ppl who are cunning, scary, impatient, hypocrite... all the bad stuff... and my manager is not able to protect me from them.

5) i m currently software products/tools specific, meaning i m the hammer and nail without given any instructions or menu. practically, i can built anything (houses, furniture, toys, buildings, playgrounds etc) but just not given any instructions...meaning you're stuck with tools, without menu/instructions. in short, you can do alot with me, but when u want me to build a house, i m useless, unless u have the brains and know how to use me.

6) i have pretty good work life balance, leaving office at 5.30-6pm everyday.

7) i m not optimizing my learning experience and opportunity here, i just try things out through the trial and error way...trying my luck day by day without any specific directions.


Option 2 : Get out of here, challenge myself another step further

1) thanks to my manager's good words of me, another department has approached me and has offered me to join their team

2) this department specializes in a specific solution, meaning the nail and hammer comes together with instructions and menu. but this menu only builds houses... all kinds of houses including semi-d, bangalow, low cost flats, apartments, condos etc...In short, it specializes in Financial Solution like BaselII, Risk Management...(ping would understand these terms)

3) this department's manager is way more capable and is very willing to coach me.

4) financial industry is always the more secure sector, with better pay and career path. better opportunity for next role. but i dont quite like numbers.

5) if i join this department, it means... challenging myself all over again... gone are those flexible lazy days.

6) this department could coach me to do things the right way instead of banging my head around, and i drown less.

7) joining this team also means working hard. not so easy life.

Salary and remuneration? will be the same. but option 2 may pay better when i leave the company.

sigh...i hope you girls understand my dilemma.... i need to give an answer by this week. i really dont know which is better for me, or what i want for myself. sigh.. i cant sleep. i dont want to regret over the decision i make. i cant decide.. feeling so lostt... help!